10/05/2024

Starting from our early years most of us are placed on the conveyor belt to adulthood, but what happens when we step off it?

The conveyor belt to adulthood is experienced as the predetermined, socially approved, safe path that chugs along through various years of school, qualifications, and into our early adult life. It spreads and branches, becoming more specialised and personalised, but is ultimately the official route between the standardised milestones that we are placed on. The conveyor belt can snake through school qualifications, apprenticeships, degrees or even jobs, but the waypoints are defined, and you must pass through them to progress to the next level.  This creates a clear sense of direction and progress which is supported by teachers, mentors, and a healthy dollop of societal expectation.

So, what happens when you reach the end of the conveyor belt?

It’s important to note that different people leave the conveyor belt at different times. It could be at the end of formal qualifications, personal circumstances out of your control, or dissatisfaction at where the belt is taking you. Sometimes it is an abrupt, even unwelcome, end or maybe you’ve just realised you’ve been walking alongside the belt for too long and it’s time to make your own path. However you arrive, you are suddenly faced with the expansive world of adulthood packed full of opportunities, responsibilities and scariest of all self-determination.

It’s never a comfortable feeling stepping into the unknown, to leave the safe models of success, mentorship, and progression already laid out. By sacrificing ease and safety you have gained the freedom to do what you want. To discover what fulfilment and success look like to you and pursue that. It’s a scary step, but potentially the most defining one of our lives so far.

How do we begin defining ourselves? How do we know what our individual values and purpose look like?

This transition can be especially difficult for people that are leaving the belt before they are ready to or those that choose to leave before their peers have. Watching others continue along to Uni, Grad schemes, or promotions can feel that you are somehow doing it wrong or getting left behind.

This is not so.

Real success and personal growth are not tracked by certificates and titles. There is no healthy relationship award, stickers for trying something new, or Chief Project Manager of having your life together! Instead, I believe success must be measured through the honest recognition of your achievements both big and small, measured against your own internal values and previous self.

“Adults do not emerge. They’re made” 

– Kay Hymowitz, Author and Social commentator.

First of all, you must recognise that it was not a conveyor belt but a paved path. You were not being carried along by the machinery. Instead, you were putting in the effort to travel along and to achieve the milestones laid out on the way. Just because the path was already there, and there were other people also travelling along it does not invalidate what you have achieved. You have learnt, made decisions, and gained skills along the way. So, before you look ahead to the future, take a moment to appreciate your journey so far, recognise your strengths, and consider how your values and interests have led you to where you are now.

Armed with this knowledge and the context of your overall journey it’s much easier to consider and assess the opportunities ahead of you. What has/will interest and excite you (and what won’t!). What are you good at and where can you continue to excel at this?

“We are not born all at once, but by bits.” 

– Mary Antin, Author

When considering your future there can feel an immense pressure that you need to decide everything all at once. That somehow you must make the right decision now as you are locking in your career path and personality for the rest of your life. When said out loud it seems pretty silly, but it’s such an easy mental trap to slide into. Self-realisation and success are continuous processes. Bit by bit you grow, change, and create yourself. The constant and gradual nature of development is why self-reflection and comparing yourself to your former self are the best measures of success. While it is necessary to think about and plan for the distant future don’t worry too much about the exact path. Instead, just make sure you are pointing in roughly the right direction.

Don’t get overwhelmed by the possibilities and responsibilities ahead. When comparing options you are interested in, it is hard to go genuinely wrong. The biggest risk is not to pick at all.Even if it doesn’t work out, at worst you can pick yourself up, dust yourself off, take your new experience and learning and move onto the next thing!

Finally, remember, you are not doing this alone. There are always people to help whether it’s friends, family, colleagues, professionals, or random connections. We are all in this together.

Please believe me when I say you’re doing it. Keep going!